Stick to the Issue at Hand
Marriage counselors often tell couples dealing with conflict that they should stick to the topic at hand when they find themselves in the middle of a disagreement. By limiting the scope of a disagreement, you’ll avoid detouring into the irrelevant and improve your chances of reaching an effective resolution.
If you’re upset with your co-worker because he or she has taken off at noon every Friday for a month, leaving you responsible for writing the weekly report and handling the phones, address that single issue. Don’t let the conversation wander into a discussion of the time he was late for the boss’ presentation and his unspell-checked memos.
By the same token, you should tactfully prevent the other person from raising unrelated issues. Instead, say, “I’m happy to discuss those concerns at a later time, but right now I’d like to resolve how we’re going to handle the workload on Fridays.” Repeat the phrase as often as you have to until your co-worker focuses on the topic you met to resolve.