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A Message from Tiffany Bass Bukow, Founder of
MsMoney.com:
Throughout my life, I have enjoyed significant financial
success and endured surprising financial failure. Dealing
with the success was easy. Dealing with the failure
was not, especially when it was unexpected. I have had
to challenge my values and work hard to continue to
succeed while learning from failure. And I discovered
that friends who had been in similar circumstances were
my greatest source of motivation.
I hope that MsMoney.com's Success Stories provide
you with the same inspiration I received from my friends.
Each week, we will profile a remarkable woman who has
confronted financial obstacles and overcome challenges
to lead a happy, financially secure, and meaningful
life.
If you'd like to share your success story, please e-mail
us at editor@msmoney.com.
On Being Rich (Continued)
By Dr. Judith Briles
 In
my introductory column, I left you in the middle of my chaos.
I had passed the brink of financial ruin: we had lost a home
that would sell for several million dollars in today's market;
people whom I had always considered "good friends" suddenly
vanished; my health was deteriorating; and I was seriously
wondering how I would support my family. In truth, not living
was becoming an increasingly attractive option with each new
day.
Sounds pretty bleak, doesn't it? It was, but none of it was
as bad as Labor Day, 1983. In the wee hours of the morning,
a lone policeman stood in our living room and told us that
our 19-year-old son was dead. It was "an accident, a drowning."
The ache I experienced was unbearable. Frank's death was everywhere--TV,
Radio, and the newspapers. Now, I truly felt as if I had lost
everything. I doubted that I would survive, and I didn't really
want to.
Getting Back on Track
Strange as it sounds, being broke and hurting so badly restored
balance to my life. My son's death quickly revealed what was
and wasn't important. Family mattered. So did health. Friends
counted (those who had remained loyal). Faith was important.
Having a lot of money and being a candidate for consumer of
the year wasn't at the top of the list.
Getting back on track did not occur overnight. It took years,
some of it in little steps and some of it in leaps. My experience
resembled an elevator--at times, it moved one floor at a time
(up and down) and at other times, it skipped ahead several
floors.
The first "move" was to change my attitude. I did want to
live--I had two great daughters, and soon a grandson would
arrive. I started writing again--my book, When God Says
NO, begins with Frank's death. I worked on improving my
public speaking, tapping into the areas that I was writing
about--finding your confidence and courage in the face of
adversity. A personal goal was to own a home again--we moved
from the Bay Area to Denver, Colorado, where I was able to
negotiate a lease option on a home using my last piece of
art that I couldn't sell before the move. Three years ago,
we sold it to build our dream home. And finally, I got my
health back--it's been 17 years since I won my battle against
cancer.
And as for the money? Do I have a million dollars again?
No, at least not yet, but here's what I do have: a home that
I love; two healthy, grown children with whom I get along
great; a 13-year-old grandson who is the best of the best;
good health; a terrific marriage after 27 years; money invested
in retirement accounts and mutual funds that I add to each
month and confidence that I can choose to stop working at
65.
You Don't Have to Lose It All...
Too often, we measure who we are by what we have--our possessions,
friends, social status, car, vacations, the market value of
our homes, and the amount of money we make. Am I advocating
losing it all to get in balance, like I did? Absolutely not.
Take a lesson from me and you'll reduce the learning curve.
My Millennium gift to you is to encourage you to look in
the mirror and ask what is really important. Is it money?
Your job? Reputation? Family? Friends? Health? You don't have
to lose it all to find what matters most. The real shortcut
is being truthful with yourself and letting the important
stuff rise to the top. That's where your energy should go,
not to issues, events, or whatever dwells on the bottom of
your list. Look in your mirror, listen, act, and remember.
Then you will be rich beyond your dreams.
Click here to read part
one of On Being Rich.
Judith Briles, Ph.D. is a speaker, columnist,
and award-winning author of 20 books including 10
Smart Money Moves for Women and Smart
Money Moves for Kids. She can be reached at 303-627-9179
and e-mailed at DrJBriles@aol.com.
Her Web site is www.briles.com.
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